Have you ever felt that the time seems stopped and the world seems to only belong to you?
That's how I feel every time I see him.

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile and how much I love your laugh. I daydream about you on and off, replaying our conversations, laughing at funny things you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time we’re together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I'm just wondering if you still care

I miss you, blogger! I have the sudden urge to blog. I just miss you. The one who knew everything about me and liked me anyway, the one who I talked to for hours and told pointless stories to, the one who knew exactly what I was saying even if I didn't and helped me when I had no clue what to do, the one who showed me what love was and what it was like to need someone there, the one who could only make me cry and hurt me like no other guy could; And I'm still missing you after months pass by. I know I'm 3 days early, but Happy 2 years in advance ♥ Sorry for still being in denial. I try to go on like I never knew you. All those laughter we had and how we used to meet and talk about everything under the sun. I miss you. Your name been brought up by the people around me just makes it harder especially when they just went out with you. I hate fact that we have too many mutual friends. Give me a sign that you do miss me too cause I miss you, too much. I don't know why, but I just do? Sometimes I just wish I wouldn't think too much. I'm asking for more to make this different. I wish you had a clue what I am going through. The pain, the sufferings and the highs and lows. I think of you everyday. I just want it to disappear. Seeing you and the people you surround yourself with can get a tad bit worrying and I'm not stereotyping, at all. I know I shouldn't be making a big fuss bout it cause it's your life, you do what you want to do and I have no say on how you live. But I can't just sit around and do nothing. I read through everything again; the texts and chat logs and they still draw a smile on my face no matter what. It can be so sweet when you look back.
There are days I try to convince myself that you're gone and I'm moving on cause of the people who care for me, I think I've been a burden to them cause I always, ALWAYS talk bout you and then I'll cry, I've been through it countless of times and there are days that even the greatest words or advice can't lift my spirit up and it's a shame that I end up being like this. I miss everything bout you, your voice and the way you touch my face, and the way you make me laugh when I'm anything but happy. The way you convince me everything will be okay. You pushed me a million times and still I can't leave. Pathetic as it may seem, I know you're worth fighting for even if you're not here.

On a completely unrelated note; I'm miss having Azreen Armani Ruslan around; the person that I hang every weekend with, the occasional heart-to-heart talk and the little things. And oh I came across this;
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

- Bob Marley
So trueee! I loveee Bob Marley for that!

If you've got a lot of negative assumptions on me by just reading my blog, don't even bother reading cause you're not welcome anyways.